Joke for This Day

Teacher: "Where were u born?" 

Student: " Singapore, Sir." 

Teacher: "Which part?" 

Student: "All of me, Sir." 

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A teacher was asking her class:
"What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"

Only one hand shot up.

"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
   
"unlawful" is when u do something the law doesn't allow

and

"ill-egal" is a sick eagle.

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 Bad News and Very Bad News 

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. 

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. 

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. 

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the very bad news? 

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. 

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Tooth extraction 

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? 

Dentist: $90.00. 

Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? 

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.